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A flatus expelled through the anus...

...the dictionary definition of fart.

A word that throughout my childhood I associated with being borderline naughty. If, as a six year old, I'd gone to my parents and proclaimed to have "farted" I would have been told" "that isn't a nice word" and rather sternly informed I was not to use it again. I was therefore somewhat surprised at the use of the word fart in some of my teaching materials.

I am currently teaching a book to my kindergarten kids that says:

I am going to the library with my skunk.

It farts.

Here, there, here, there, everywhere.

Look everybody!

In the exercise section of the book it then asks the kids to "fart like a skunk," offering a picture of a man with a cloud coming out of his behind by way of explanation. I've not taught this as I dread to imagine the consequences as 10 six year olds attempt to push a cloud of smoke out of their bottoms!!!

Whilst teaching a reading book to the older kids I was equally surprised when, in a story about two parents who no longer lived together, I read this passage:

"Your father kicked me out [10 years ago] because I made a very loud fart." !!!

The story then goes on to tell how a boy tried to reunite his parents by pretending to sell melons outside his estranged fathers house. When his father tried to buy a melon the boy refused to sell him one and the story continued with the boy talking to his father:

"Do you ever fart?" asked the boy. "What are you talking about?" his father said. "Well," said the boy, "I only sell melons to decent people who don't fart." "You're crazy. Everyone farts, even the king of our country," his father said.

After this exchange the boy told his father he was his son, the father "realised his mistakes... he asked his wife and son to return to his house" and "they lived happily ever after!!!"

Sometimes this country is far too random!

j150vsc says:
Wed, 2007-03-28 04:51

From Helene:

i have just spat hot tomato soup all over my screen reading your fart note, and i can't for the life of me start trying to explain to my colleagues why the hell im now stuck with a bad case of recurring giggles...oh my god i need oxygen! that is sooo funny and bizarre it's beautiful!!!!

j150vsc says:
Wed, 2007-03-28 04:50

From Emily:

"OMG that thing about 'farts' on your blog is just too funny. I was weaping when I read it...Ha ha I can't believe you have to teach shit like that. lol xx"

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