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Dear "went"....you didn't tell us your name or sign your postings so I'm sorry I can't address you by name ....I feel there is alot to what you've posted......I to feel that we as woman can have casual male friends ....that we've always had.....and i feel the men can have casual woman friends that they've always had.....however when you are a couple...however you define the coupling.....when new freindships are formed they should include both of you.....personally i understand your being upset with your husbsand for fostering this new friendship with this woman in a secret style and not including you...it does make you wonder....about the both of them...if this is just a casual friendship why does it need to exclude you?... When people are in a high profile jobs they frequently have to travel and do business meetings and sometimes even go to dinners and luncheons with colleques....this can be upsetting if its your husband.....but it is also upsetting if your really close friends....my best friend is a plastic surgeon and last year if you recall there was a huge earthquake in Europe....well he and his team were called over there for the children that had been hurt really badly.....well his surgical assistant closest team member is a woman....they traveled together.....he left for europe for ten days....didn't say a word to me that he was leaving ...they left and I never knew the difference until the earthquake struck......and someone from the hospital called and said, "Cass we just wanted you to know that he's okay, it's just going to delay his return .." he wont be back when he expected." I of course was clueless and said....."What...whats going on and where is he and with who".....his secretary said, He's over at the earthquake site and they have been having massive aftershocks so he and bonny won't be back for a few days.....i nearly dropped the phone.....I said are you telling me that he and bonny have gone to europe together and he never mentioned a thing....."? she said, "Oh cass its just work...they are friends"....."yeahhhhhhhhhh right!" ...I will admit I was twacked..not because he's left and was with a woman....but because he would leave the country with anyone for ten days and not feel that he should mention it too me.......say nothing of going with a woman.....so I called his machine and left a message and said...."well i hope everything is going nicely ....since you'd not felt the need to mention that you and she were off for ten days....don't bother letting me know when you return....appearently you feel i'm on a need to know basis and I DON'T NEED TO KNOW....and i hung up.....about two hours later i got a call from Europe ...it was Bonny saying okay cass don't get all freaked out.....he's all twacked now thinking that your mad at him.....we are surgeons the kids need surgery ...this is only business....yes he and I are friends ...but if he didn't think you were an important friend to him do you think he would have me call you.....he will never do this going off without mentioning it to you agian...and he's not done so......and now Bonny and I are good freinds as well.....friends should enlarge our lives not deminish it....just my opinion......and remember family ..i'm not a professional...so my opinion is just that....an opinion........hugs cassie