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Invited

If HE chooses to treat it as a date once he gets there, as SHE so obviously expects him to do, that's his decision, and a valuable learning experience for ME. (Translation: I'll start packing TOMORROW.)

Conversely, if he gently pries her off his person and explains "he's only here for the beer" -- i.e. the Newbie Orientation halfhour and the subsequent topical roundtables -- as he says he intends to do, then this will also be a valuable learning experience for HIM in dating niceties he has obviously not yet mastered (absolutely no pun implied). Hopefully it'll be a valuable learning experience for HER, too, but she's exterior to my own mental map so "fuck her if she can't take a joke," so to speak...

Reasonable, neh? Bloodless, neh? Then why do I still feel like SHIT and am utterly certain that I WILL lose this man tonight. :( :( :(

You have to understand two things here: 1) He'd hotly deny it, but he's rather -- no, make that VERY -- no, make that EXTREMELY, sigh -- naive when it comes to the true Jungle ruthlessness of the dating-as-sportfucking thing in general, having always preferred long-term one-on-one liaisons, and 2) ANY "new" meat, no matter how shopworn, inspires the oldtimers at these bdsm things into a feeding frenzy; a drop-dead gorgeous, blade-slim, unPartnered kinda guy who looks about 17 (he moonlights as a model, that's how REAL this perception is, this is NOT just a doting grrlfriend talking, sigh) and who furthermore can ONLY, honestly, identify as "a curious newbie" when they do the "please introduce yourself" protocol at each of the four mini-roundtables he'll get to choose to participate in, is going to be the target of every wolf in the room, regardless of said wolf's gender, gender preference, or identification (Top/bottom/switch).

He has to run this gauntlet himself, methinks, sooner or later...so it might as well be now. Whether he'll come out of it unscathed is a very open question indeed, but that is none of my fucking business. He's an independent adult, and I've done all I can. I've given him the best Play Party Etiquette For Dummies shortlist I could find, off-the-cuff profiles of the most common Predatory Types he's likely to encounter, and a few scene buzzphrases that should serve as at least SOME degree of elective shielding should he feel he needs it.

So he's gonna do what he's gonna do regardless, and I've done all I can. Perfect, neh? Then why do I still feel like shit. And why did he leave me a note this morning before going off to work without waking me up (he NEVER leaves without waking me up!) saying "if it weirds me out I'll come home" -- clearly implying that if it DOESN'T weird him out, he WON'T come home. Does that mean EVER, or sometime next week, or what-the-fuck???