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I can’t recall how many times over the past 2 years Andrew and I have cautioned Amy on the perils of leaving the key in the door. 

However I wasn’t too surprised when I discovered the source of Andrew’s rant coming from the top of the stairs.

We had been up since 6.30 am, as we had been out hunting for antiques, the plan was simple call back home pick Amy and her friend up and drop them off to meet up with friends.  Leaving us clear to have a much needed siesta.

Well the best laid plans of mice and men etc!

Amy had closed the door with her key still in the lock at the other side, which meant although we could put a key in from outside it wouldn’t turn…….we were locked out!

I have to say Andrew took it very well.

As we dropped the kids off I warned them that we would all have to sleep in tents if we couldn’t get in!

The drive back home was our time to plan our elevated back portal entry plan……

I had the crazy mad-cap idea of buying a ladder, but Andrew vetoed that on the grounds of it being too sensible.

Andrew’s plan was to balance tables and chairs high enough to reach the balcony, I volunteered to do the climb, but as everything swayed like a see saw, the only outcome I could see was disaster.  Apart from swaying some feet above the ground there were the vicious death plants Jose has planted around the balcony.  I think as a burglar deterrent?   They are good, they look like beautiful flowers, but they are home to vicious fish hook type horrible barbs.

When discussing possible ways of entry I’d told Andrew categorically that I an’t and never have had the ability to rope climb.  But faced with the See-Saw of death, I suggested he get the rope from the car.

The many happy hours watching Indiana Jones and Tomb Raider were a real inspiration for me now, I pictured myself as a young fit Lara Croft, effortlessly scaling the side of the house.  

Like Annie Oakley I threw the rope onto the balcony, it miraculously hoped effortlessly around the rail…..Yeah! Right! Not! (In my  minds eye I visualise thing working perfectly to plan, the reality is always a world away!)

After several attempts I got one end of the rope onto the balcony but couldn’t feed the knotted end back through. So we tried an oar but that wouldn’t reach.  Then a fishing net, still no good……..what would Ray  Mears do? Aha! Bend the wire of the net to form a cunning hook!

All this when it was hot and I was tired, all I wanted was an ice cold coke and a sleep, but God gave us kids so we wouldn’t be lazy!

Finally I secured the rope, the plan was to haul myself up and get a foot hold on the drain thing, and Andrew’s main concern was that the builders Senoirs BODGE & SCARPER would not have made the rail or the drain strong enough to bear weight…well not my weight!

So he had images of me destroying the side of Jose’s house!  To hell with it, caution to the wind, she who dares, I was going up!

To the utter astonishment of myself and Andrew I actually made it, I was a little bit chuffed!

The excitement was short lived as the kitchen door was locked as was the window, so now I was stuck!  Kids……bless ‘em!

I shouted down to Andrew that I could climb across to the other balcony and get in through our bedroom balcony doors.  So I secured the rope to the water heater, dragged a gas bottle over to the edge of the balcony, said my prayers and climbed across to the other balcony.  Great excitement again, until Andrew shouted up, that he’d left the shutters down, so I couldn’t get in from there either.

So he walked round to see if Amy had left the blind up in the bathroom, of course she had!

Like an over excited spring lamb I sped around and clambered in through the bathroom…….EASY!

I just hope non of us does the key trick again, we were just lucky that it happened as it did, because we always baton down the hatches before we go out, otherwise we would have had to have used a battering ram!