Reid's Reel-Time

"Huh? What are you talking about?"

"You know the ones. They was jes talk’in ‘bout ‘em on the radio. Them ones in Massachusetts."

"I don’t know Reid, what if they do get married? Is that going to hurt you in any way? Will it even have the slightest impact on your life? Can’t you just drive me to work, we’ve been all through this before."

"Ah know, ah know. But it’s the sanctity a marriage what’s at stake here. Course it ain’t gonna hurt me in perticuler. Hey, ya know what this all reminds me of?"

"No... what? I’m dying to know."

"What the preseedent said ‘bout ‘once, shame on me. Twice, shame on me’. Er was it ‘twice shame on me, one time... shame on you twice?’ Oh, ah don’t know now, but anyway, you kin see mah point can’tcha?"

"I have no idea what you’re talking about. Could you please just stop crawling along in traffic, I’m gonna be late."

"It’s God hiself ah’m talk’in ‘bout woman. God don’t want no homos gett’in it on tagether!"

"He is not a hateful God, Reid. If you really want to know what I think, I think He just wants us all to get along, be productive and do whatever we can as individuals to improve living conditions for everyone around the world."

"Ya still don’t see mah point, do ya? Lemmie give ya an example. You know that goat ah’m fix’in ta buy ta keep the grass short?"

"Yes Reid, we talked about it. You’re too damn lazy to mow the lawn so you thought you could get out of it if you bought a goat. Yes, I recall you mentioning it."

• Posted by Reid Laurence on 29/06/2006.
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This Game Of Chance

"Come here and warm your hands by the fire, Mary. Isn’t it great!? This is liv’in!"

"Hold on a minute. I’ll be right there," replied my wife, in an anxious tone. "You could help me get the snow off Solomon’s feet you know. He’s gonna get the carpet all wet."

"Alright, I can do that," I said. "If you promise me you’ll sit by the fire for a few minutes. You don’t wanna get frost bite, do ya? Yer fingers an toes get all green an fall off an junk. It’s gross."

"If you stop bugging me about the fire and tend to your dog here, I can go get you your birthday present. It’s in the bedroom closet."

"God, I can’t believe it’s my birthday already. Another July’s passing by like sand through an hourglass. How quickly time flies."

"Here we are," said Mary, on her way back to the living room. "Open it up. The excitement’s killing me."

"Oh boy!" I remarked, as I removed the lid from the top of the box. "Just what the doctor ordered! Gloves with a matching hat! I’ll be snug as a bug in a rug. Thanks babe," I said, as I embraced my thoughtful mate and kissed her cold, red, blushing cheek.

"That’s not all I got you, either," she said. "Go check out the truck!"

"Oh boy!" I exclaimed. "Did’ja get me the new, twenty speaker, remote controlled, eight-hundred channel Boose sound system with auto scan, seek, lock an load, or am I just dreaming?"

"Go an see," replied my better half. "It’s yer birthday. I had ta get you something nice, didn’t I? It only comes but once a year."

• Posted by Reid Laurence on 15/05/2006.
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What The Government Won't Tell You

Aricibo, Puerto Rico, home to the famous Aricibo Observatory where the largest single telescope ever constructed rests inside a natural basin; the very place where I live, eat and breathe my job. As a devoted member of SETI, or the Search for Extra-Terrestrial Intelligence would imply, it’s my job to continuously rove the outer reaches of the Milky Way Galaxy.

Relentlessly, I attempt to give hope to the concept that life does exist somewhere in the outer reaches of cold, empty space and I, or others like me, may one day be able to say that we are not alone, and at sometime in the future, before our civilization crumbles and comes to an end as it may, will join the beauty and boundless thoughts of our minds together, with those of a new, but similar organism. Sharing in wisdom and unlocking new secrets that up till now, have not even been realized. That is to say, up to this point in time, which is why I’m writing this to you today. To get you ready for something the government will never reveal. Something that happened just today. Just minutes ago, as I write this. But to better prepare you for what I have to say, I’d better begin at the very beginning, or the beginning of my day that is, at eight o’clock this morning...

Walking to the coffee pot as I usually did, I poured myself a cup and sat down at my desk. I greeted my co-worker, Dr. Jody Wesley with a courteous, “good morning” and resolved myself to another day of scanning the heavens. Waiting for that moment, if ever, when the contact between advanced civilizations becomes more than hearsay, more then the glimmer of light in the night sky we’ve become so eternally used to.

• Posted by Reid Laurence on 14/05/2006.
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